Harper's Island - It's like survivor but with more dead people.

Now here’s something you don’t see everyday a horror movie pretending to be a network television show... or should that be a network television show pretending to be a horror movie?

Harper’s Island is about an island... called Harper’s Island – that much you probably figured out on your own. What you may not know is that there’s a wedding taking place on the island and one by one the guests are going to be killed off... okay, you probably could have figured that part out as well.

If you’re looking for familiar faces in the cast it might be noted that the groom is from either Popular or Jake 2.0 depending on how geeky you are... but really other than that you might be going ‘hey a blond guy, I recognise blonde people.’

Okay so there are no big name stars, and this being network television there is no graphic gore, so without the incentive to see Paris Hilton get bloodily impaled why would anybody watch this?

The problem with bad horror movies or television shows is that they think that people dying is enough of a plot, or enough character development. You’re left with no other storyline – you just get boring people doing something ordinary until somebody starts killing everything. I’d like for once to see a bunch of interesting funny characters doing interesting or funny things AND THEN have them killed off.

Harper’s Island leaves you with a big case of the ‘who cares’. Who cares if that person is being slaughtered? Who cares if weedy guy from Popular is marrying somebody way hotter than he is? Who cares who the killer is?

And on that ‘who’s the killer’ point – we know the guy hiding the gun, or the menacing old man, or the brother with the tats is NOT the killer. I’m surprised they didn’t fill out the cast with a bunch of literal red herrings to keep us guessing.

Harper’s Island isn’t by any stretch of the imagination a ‘good show’ – it does however do a fairly good impersonation of a ‘bad horror movie’, and I’m a sucker for bad horror movies even more than I am for ‘good horror movies’. So will I be tuning in again? Yes, but only for something to laugh at.

Good, Average, Bad or Ugly?
Bad.