Change The Channel is moving!

That’s right. I’m moving Change The Channel from here on blogspot over to wordpress:

ctchannel.wordpress.com

As you can see the move is mostly for aesthetic reasons, but I have found wordpress to have a ton more features behind the scenes than blogspot does.

So this will be the last post at this address, and the new address will be:

ctchannel.wordpress.com

10 Things I Hate About You

Who could forget the film 10 Things I Hate About You? Apparently not the director who’s decided a television remake was in order. I guess that’s what happens when you’re life is reduced to directing episodes of ‘Til Death and Rules Of Engagement.

In all honesty though I am a pretty big fan of 10 Things the movie. It’s got Heath Ledger, it’s got Alex Mack, it’s got Joseph Gordon Lovett, heck it’s got uber-Jewish guy who’s now in Numb3rs, it’s got everything you could ever want in a teen movie. In fact, I would go so far as to say that after The Breakfast Club – 10 Things is the single best teen movie of all time... okay, that’s probably a lie but look how I said it anyway.

10 Things the TV show is NOT 10 Things the movie. There’s no point comparing the cast members of the two versions as the movie trumps the show on every front – even if you don’t like Julia Stiles particularly much you’ll find her train lengths in front of Sister from Aliens In America.

Watching the first episode of 10 Things left me with a bunch of questions:

How come Kat & Bianca have moved to a new school but still manage to bump into guys named Cameron and Patrick Verona? I mean, surely that’s more than a coincidence.

Will the remake of 10 Things prompt a remake of more late 90’s teen movies? Are Can’t Hardly Wait and She’s All That just around the corner?

Why was Patrick Verona (played by Heath Ledger in the movie) so... not a tough looking guy at all? Did his character profile list him as being ‘kind of emo’ or something?

Why was Cameron’s sidekick so short? I like short people. I like short people in funny hats. But I don’t like camera angles that constantly accentuate how short somebody is for no clear purpose. Why would Cameron be friends with someone the camera always has to be peering down at?

Why rope Larry Miller back from the original cast to yet again play the dad? The poor guy has aged ten years while his daughters have stayed the same. It’s going to take a lot of head shaving every episode to keep those gray hairs away.

And finally why wasn’t the show as bad as it should have been nor as good as it should have been?

I can’t recommend it. I can recommend rewatching the movie though, cause that still holds up. For some reason.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad

Recruiting 'Recruits'... yeah I couldn't think of a good pun.

Docu-dramas are getting a bit long in the tooth these days. It seems there isn’t a professional with a uniform that hasn’t got a series based around them talking into walkie-talkies or getting stressed out or just doing their job ma’am.

Recruits on Channel 10 follows a bunch of wannabe cops at the academy and another bunch of recent graduates as they go through their rookie year of being a real life police officer. Cops are part and parcel of the docu-drama genre but Recruits is a breath of somewhat fresh air. It’s interesting getting to look into life at the police college and it’s refreshing to see that these kids are just as goofy learning to become cops as you and I would be.

While it’s by no means ‘appointment television’ there are worst shows to spend your half hour with – any of the half dozen shows based around airports basically. Speaking of which Recruits doesn’t suffer from the sort of bullshit editing that makes Border Security downright unwatchable. You know the sort of cut aways they do just as the story gets interesting.

You’ll be watching a couple of customs guys messing around with a parcel “We think there’s something in this package, let’s open it.” CUT TO NEXT STORY OF AN ANGRY ASIAN MAN, but as soon as he starts yelling CUT TO GUY BREAKING HIS WORK PERMIT as soon as that starts to hook you cut back to the guys with parcel: “ooh it looks like drugs, but what kind of drugs?” CUT TO ANGRY ASIAN MAN AGAIN. Rinse & repeat until half hour is up.

And while ‘not being retarded’ isn’t exactly high praise the subject matter does help. Seeing shit scared cops is actually a lot more entertaining and enlightening than seeing just another show about cops cleaning up the blurry faced streets.

While I don’t see myself running to get to the TV when Recruits is on I do think that for the half hour docu-drama genre it’s a pretty fine entry.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Alright

Random Acts Of Kindness

In Nine’s never ending quest for mediocrity it would seem that practically anything can be turned into primetime television as long as it ticks a few boxes. Don’t worry though; ideas like this don’t take long to cook up.

“Let’s do things for people that do things for other people. That’ll make ‘em cry!” is the premise of Random Acts Of Kindness a show that obviously hasn’t come from the heart but rather from a soulless boardroom at Nine.

After axing Domestic Blitz, another “heart warmer” of a program, they decided to take half the elements of that show, one of the hosts and even the time slot and make a new show that pales in comparison to the old one.

The episode we watched opened with Scott Cam, from every single makeover show Channel 9 have ever aired, surprising a minister who runs a drop in centre that’s in need of a bit of a, surprise surprise, makeover. There’s a reason Scott keeps getting employed to do this sort of fair – he absolutely shines at it. You need somebody to be down to earth, laid back and casual, quick with a hug and a laugh – Scott Cam can manage that and not look like he’s going to have to vomit because he touched a human today.

This minister who helps kids off the street and homeless folks and is just such a loving and kind man (as these things usually go) is taken with his family to a game of football (wow, way to shell out Nine) while Scott and the boys makeover the drop in centre. At least there’s a makeover going on which is exactly the sort of things that made Domestic Blitz watchable without sinking into schmaltz.

It’s not exactly revolutionary television but watching the pastor find the work that’s been done and cry about it, and then seeing his family cry, and then seeing his friends cry, well that’s okay. I mean, it’s what these shows are all about. But after the pastor who helps streets kids the second story of a 16 year old girl who annoys people about saving the whales seems a tad less worthy.

Are they even in the same ballpark? “Oh you have a drop in centre for troubled folks? Here’s a makeover!” “Oh you already appear on television a lot, and you seem to like whales a real heap... here’s a makeover... of your bedroom.”

What?

This precocious 16 year old who has already racked up more television appearances than the rest of her class combined gets to rack up another one as she’s plucked out of high school by a greying 40 something television host nobody has ever seen before and jetted up to the Great Barrier Reef.

Why didn’t they rope the female host into this episode to spend time with the 16 year old girl, cause watching a middle aged guy go swimming, go shopping, take photographs of, have drinks with, wait outside her house at night for, be in her bedroom without her, be in her bedroom WITH her and engage in awkward conversation with a school girl was creepy at the very least. Seriously, Channel 9, why wasn’t there another adult around?

We can only thank god she didn’t have to spend any time with Karl Stefanovic who proved in the final segment that he’s even more a creep than most people believe.

Oh, and if you thought a 16 year old who care too much about whales wasn’t worth your viewing time well then you missed out on the three canteen ladies who... run the canteen... really? That’s... such a thing that happens everywhere...

Didn’t anybody think that maybe the reason these ladies work together on the canteen isn’t so the kids can “enjoy” their pumpkin soup or carrot sticks but rather because they get to spend time with their best friends and chat all day?

Does that really warrant a trip in a plane and having to eat a meal with Karl Stefanovic?

Speaking of Karl, is there a man less suited to interacting with humans than Karl? As he stands in the principal’s office and “jokes” ‘You’ve been very naughty girls’ all of Australia collectively vomited in their mouths a little bit.

Random Acts is just that, a random collection of stories, most of which don’t warrant being told on television. What will they cover next week, the unsung hero who helps his friend move house for no other reason than ‘mateship’?

They should cut the show back to one worthwhile story with one worthwhile makeover... which would just be Domestic Blitz... but still: we don’t ever need to see a vege garden get a ‘makeover’ on national television ever again, thanks.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad

The Philanthropist... it's about philanthropy...

Hands up everybody out there who wants to watch a show about a rich white guy who goes around saving poor black people?

All of your with your hands down can go home, the rest of you come with me.

The Philanthropist tells the story of a billionaire named Teddy Rist as played by Marc Antony from Rome. He’s super rich and then grows a super conscious while he’s in Nigeria during a flood and saves a little black boy. He then makes it his mission to deliver a vaccine to a random Nigerian village just so he can see this little black boy again.

Is it as dopey as I’m trying to make it sound? Not really. But sort of.

NBC has been bringing the drama goods of late with Southland and Kings and while The Philanthropist aims quite high and has production values out the wazzoo (especially all those sweeping Africa shots) it just falls short because it’s all kind of daffy and boring.

Teddy Rist our would be world saver is just kind of boring, he’s not as troubled or as interesting as they want him to be, he’s just kind of there. He’s like Superman. The problem with Superman is that he can do anything. Do you need to travel back in time? Superman can spin around the world backwards really fast and make that happen. Do you need to see through walls? Superman can do that too. Because Teddy’s a billionaire there doesn’t seem to be a scrape he can’t get out of because of that. It’s not like we’re watching a normal person having to survive the Nigerian jungles, we’re watching Teddy Rist, Guy Who Can Get Out Of Anything With A Wry Smile And A Hundred Dollar Bill. Does that make the whole proceedings rather pointless and boring? You bet.

Am I going to stop asking myself questions at some point? Probably not.

Here’s another question: Is this what the show is going to be like every single episode? Are we going to watch Teddy jet to some third world country solve a bunch of problems and then deliver a tiny box of vaccine to a bunch of English speaking foreigners? Is that all the show is?

The show boasts a pretty impressive cast on top of Marc Antony, you’ve got the black guy from The Wire and the black guy from Law & Order... plus Neve Campbell is in it... for no real apparent reason. But despite an “all” “star” “cast” and some pretty top notch production values there wasn’t a whole lot of story to invest in, unless you’re a fan of learning lessons like: you can solve all the world’s problems if you’re a billionaire and follow the ghost of your dead son through the jungle. Yeah, that actually happened. Like I said, it’s daffy.

Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad

This afternoon we watched THISafternoon.

For some reason Channel 9 has felt the need to add to the never ending torrent of ridiculously ‘casual’ news programming that started with Sunrise and Today and has brought us right up to THISafternnon.

Ignoring for a moment the fact that THISafternoon is a retarded title, and that if Channel 7 had the show it’d be called Arvo we popped on the telly just in time to catch Andrew Daddo, a random blonde co-host and a newsreader be awkward around each other.

According to the internet the Blonde Woman’s name is Katrina Blowers but she looks more like a cartoon mushroom that’s come to life. She also fails at the very premise of the show: casual news. There is nothing casual about Katrina’s “reporter voice”.

I’m sure the mission statement for THISafternoon (it’s even retarded to write) is to present the news in the casual, just got home from work, enjoying a cuppa with friends, style that you might get down at your local coffee shop. If that is the case I can imagine enjoying a coffee with Katrina goes something like this:

“Hey Kat, what’s going on today?”

“Michael Jackson is still making headlines even after his death.”

“Yeah?”

“His father has released video footage of his preparation for his ill-fated world tour.”

“Yeah, but how are you feeling?”

“Sources close to family say that Michael was excited. Are you excited? Send us an email at THISafternoon@ninemsn.com.au.”

Andrew Daddo on the other hand seems to have forgotten all of his hosting skills he learnt on World’s Wackiest Commercials and didn’t seem to be able to remember reporter names, or the email address, or who the blonde girl next to him was.

Mark Ferguson jumped in with the news and it felt like we’d changed programs and were now watching a very orange afternoon news program.

There’s a reason the non casual/real news will continue to thump THISafternoon in the ratings. Why wouldn’t you watch the news straight when your only other option is to watch the extra orange news, and listen to the pissweak “banter” of two hosts who don’t appear to have actually met each other yet.

Lawrence Leung should choose his own persona

After a pilot episode that was all over the place we gave Lawrence Leung’s Choose Your Own Adventure a second shot, and boy oh boy after being weird but enjoyable in the first episode he really just decided to be all out boring on his second outing didn’t he?

Episode 2 finds Lawrence wanting to be a rock star. So he meets the dude from You Am I, he talks to Dicko, he plays the recorder (LOLS!) and sings really bad rock songs that he wrote as a kid (hilarious!! ... those are sarcastic exclamation points...) And quite frankly I’m not sure how else to describe Lawrence’s show other than that it’s a pretty bland knock off of Borat and John Safran that really has no clue what kind of show it wants to be.

Is it supposed to be real? Is it supposed to be staged? Because it’s too fake to be real and it’s not funny enough to be staged.

The second episode highlighted everything that doesn’t work about the show. Don’t pretend like you’re bumping into Dicko when it’s obvious your producer called him up first. Don’t pretend like Tim Rogers smashed you over the head with a bottle when it’s obviously a bit, and I know it’s obviously a bit, and you know it’s obviously a bit but then why do it at all?

Is he supposed to be that guy who confronts people like Tim Rogers and Dicko just out of the blue ala the Chaser? Because if so then don’t let us know they’re in on the joke. Don’t have Dicko go “who the hell are you?” only to cut to the pair of you getting into a car to listen to a “bad” song you wrote like his agent arranged it.

The bit where he dressed up as a rock star and annoyed celebrities at the MTV Awards was funny, trying to fight 50 Cent was especially funny but only if he sticks with that character.

Lawrence is completely different from scene to scene. Is he a shy goofball? Or is he a dick? Is he a dick who’s pretending to be a shy goofball? And why can’t he pick a persona? Is he playing up his awkwardness? Or is he really that awkward?

I don’t get his persona because it’s always changing and a show like this is all about the persona. Show’s like this work if they’re embedded in reality. Borat works because you really believe he’s embarrassing himself in front of real people. John Safran works because you really believe he’s getting an exorcism. Lawrence Leung doesn’t because it’s obvious he’s doing “bits” and by constantly letting us know it’s all some big set up it removes the credibility from the rest of the show. Stuff that we’d have a hard time believing wasn’t set up before hand, like the MTV performance where he “breaks” his laptop, we know for sure is “faked.”

Tim Rogers isn’t really smashing Lawrence over the head with a bottle therefore we now know that Lawrence’s dad didn’t happen to just find all of the ‘hilariously bad’ outfits in the clothing store to get him to try on, therefore we know that bumping into Dicko was organised, therefore the ‘MTV performance goes haywire!’ bit is all part of the act – therefore the show isn’t funny because it’s lying to us about how ‘real’ it is.