
In Nine’s never ending quest for mediocrity it would seem that practically anything can be turned into primetime television as long as it ticks a few boxes. Don’t worry though; ideas like this don’t take long to cook up.
“Let’s do things for people that do things for other people. That’ll make ‘em cry!” is the premise of Random Acts Of Kindness a show that obviously hasn’t come from the heart but rather from a soulless boardroom at Nine.
After axing Domestic Blitz, another “heart warmer” of a program, they decided to take half the elements of that show, one of the hosts and even the time slot and make a new show that pales in comparison to the old one.
The episode we watched opened with Scott Cam, from every single makeover show Channel 9 have ever aired, surprising a minister who runs a drop in centre that’s in need of a bit of a, surprise surprise, makeover. There’s a reason Scott keeps getting employed to do this sort of fair – he absolutely shines at it. You need somebody to be down to earth, laid back and casual, quick with a hug and a laugh – Scott Cam can manage that and not look like he’s going to have to vomit because he touched a human today.
This minister who helps kids off the street and homeless folks and is just such a loving and kind man (as these things usually go) is taken with his family to a game of football (wow, way to shell out Nine) while Scott and the boys makeover the drop in centre. At least there’s a makeover going on which is exactly the sort of things that made Domestic Blitz watchable without sinking into schmaltz.
It’s not exactly revolutionary television but watching the pastor find the work that’s been done and cry about it, and then seeing his family cry, and then seeing his friends cry, well that’s okay. I mean, it’s what these shows are all about. But after the pastor who helps streets kids the second story of a 16 year old girl who annoys people about saving the whales seems a tad less worthy.
Are they even in the same ballpark? “Oh you have a drop in centre for troubled folks? Here’s a makeover!” “Oh you already appear on television a lot, and you seem to like whales a real heap... here’s a makeover... of your bedroom.”
What?
This precocious 16 year old who has already racked up more television appearances than the rest of her class combined gets to rack up another one as she’s plucked out of high school by a greying 40 something television host nobody has ever seen before and jetted up to the Great Barrier Reef.
Why didn’t they rope the female host into this episode to spend time with the 16 year old girl, cause watching a middle aged guy go swimming, go shopping, take photographs of, have drinks with, wait outside her house at night for, be in her bedroom without her, be in her bedroom WITH her and engage in awkward conversation with a school girl was creepy at the very least. Seriously, Channel 9, why wasn’t there another adult around?
We can only thank god she didn’t have to spend any time with Karl Stefanovic who proved in the final segment that he’s even more a creep than most people believe.
Oh, and if you thought a 16 year old who care too much about whales wasn’t worth your viewing time well then you missed out on the three canteen ladies who... run the canteen... really? That’s... such a thing that happens everywhere...
Didn’t anybody think that maybe the reason these ladies work together on the canteen isn’t so the kids can “enjoy” their pumpkin soup or carrot sticks but rather because they get to spend time with their best friends and chat all day?
Does that really warrant a trip in a plane and having to eat a meal with Karl Stefanovic?
Speaking of Karl, is there a man less suited to interacting with humans than Karl? As he stands in the principal’s office and “jokes” ‘You’ve been very naughty girls’ all of Australia collectively vomited in their mouths a little bit.
Random Acts is just that, a random collection of stories, most of which don’t warrant being told on television. What will they cover next week, the unsung hero who helps his friend move house for no other reason than ‘mateship’?
They should cut the show back to one worthwhile story with one worthwhile makeover... which would just be Domestic Blitz... but still: we don’t ever need to see a vege garden get a ‘makeover’ on national television ever again, thanks.
Good, Alright, Bad Or Ugly?
Bad